Dating, Life, Love

Adventures in Dating Part 1: Laying the Foundation

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I have been mostly single since my divorce in 2010, minus a couple short lived exceptions. I never wanted to introduce my children to a bunch of men when they were young and then have it not work out so I kept most of my (almost non existent) dating life separate from my family life. My last relationship was 4 years ago and it scared me away from trying again due to the volatility of that situation. After only 6 months of dating that man, I had to take a huge step back to evaluate what happened to me and why I attracted that type of person. I listened to several audiobooks about psychology, love and how our past traumas and childhood plays a big role in the type of person you are attracted to. I learned about attachment styles, the male brain (&) the female brain among many other personal development topics. I came to understand that relationship as my rock bottom and I knew that if I was going to find the right person worth committing to and ever put myself in another vulnerable situation then I needed to do the work and make sure I was prepared. After many years of growth and discovering who I really am at my core and what I want out of a partner, I finally feel the urge & confidence to seek him. This year I’ve felt compelled to cast my net as far & wide to see what fish are out there. The saying goes that “what you seek is seeking you” and I feel a tugging in my heart. I plan to go on many dates and assume I will need to kiss a lot of frogs to find my King. Yes, I said “King” and not “Prince” because I know that I am not a Princess and what I need is a strong man to meet me in my Queendom. 

I decided to put more effort into online dating and have built up 3 profiles on different dating sites to see which one works best for me and also because I know that in order to find my man I need to take steps towards him. Maybe I’ll meet him in real life but at least this is my signal to the Universe that I am open. I set up a profile on Meet Mindful as it seems to be more geared towards people who want to live mindfully, health conscious and spiritual lives. However I’ve not had much luck interacting with people on that platform. Possibly because these people are also trying to be present in their lives and thus don’t spend a lot of time in the virtual world. It’s also hard to tell whether we have the same views on important topics that could be deal breakers. The site allows you to program your match preferences for things like height, age, religion, diet, education and a few other categories however there is no way of telling whether you’d agree or disagree on fundamental issues.

I also set up an account on OK Cupid. The site allows you to answer many questions on a variety of topics like political views, current events, likes and dislikes along with allowing you to rate the importance of that topic. You are matched based on how many things you agree on and whether those things are more or less important to you in a relationship. I made sure to answer a LOT of questions to really be clear about who I am and what is important to me. You also have the ability to select criteria like age, heigh & location similar to Meet Mindful. To avoid wasting time reading a bunch of dead end profiles, I have worked out a process for scrubbing potential matches; First I will only humor men who are a 90% match or above. If they pass the initial “cute/hot/attractive” test based on their profile pictures, then I will go one step further and click on the match percentile link to review the things we *disagree* on to make sure there aren’t any firm deal breakers. One thing I often run into that is a deal breaker for me is someone who is sold on the mask/lockdown/vaccine approach to Covid. Not to diminish the pandemic but I am very clear that I want a person who values building their immune system & personal responsibility over pharmaceutical drugs and government mandates. I also shy away from men who don’t like children or animals because I don’t know how any reasonable person doesn’t like them! If I get the impression that they are immature or full time partiers that will also deter me. I have spent enough time in the party scene to know that is NOT the person I am looking for. Finally, I can’t handle the “Woke” culture so anyone who is overly liberal and convinced that America is a racist, awful country is not workable as I love my country and am honored to be here. I have come to realize that despite being socially liberal (classic liberal) I am fiscally conservative and I believe in God, Spirituality and the individual over the Government, tribalism and bureaucratic science. I am NOT a Communist nor Socialist but I do care about volunteering, sustainability and locally managed social programs that help our communities. I certainly don’t fall into any political box and I am seeking someone who is a bit more open to alternative ideas. 

The last dating site that I created a profile on is eHarmony. They seem to focus more attention on the compatibility levels between people and use psychology to get to the root of what builds a successful and long term relationship. They ask questions more aligned to how you are within a partnership, your love languages, personality traits, attachment & relationship styles. What I gather from this site is that it’s good for people who are seeking a long term & committed relationship or marriage and family building. The only downside is that you have to put a lot of skin in the game. In order to even see a potential matches profile & pictures you have to be a paid member and it’s rather expensive. For example, Meet Mindful was $50 for 3 months of membership. OK Cupid was $30 for the first month and $60 every month after (or you can do an annual subscription that has some savings). eHarmony is more based on the length of commitment as it requires a minimum of 6 months at $42 per month (or $250 for 6 months and $350 for a year). For now I decided to start with the cheaper short term commitment sites to see how I like them and will consider eHarmony later. 

OK Cupid seems to be working for me the most. I’ve only been on the site for 2 weeks but so far have made a handful of connections and have had 3 in person meet ups. The first man I met is a 96% match and we get along great! He is a lot of fun to be around and we seem to agree on so many things and the conversation flows very well. I wasn’t sure if I was attracted to him at first but mostly because he asked me to meet him at a local dive bar and the setting was not exactly my cup of tea. During dinner we got to know each other more and found a lot of commonalities so he became more attractive to me. We have hung out twice now and both times were a blast! He met my friends and fits in well with them which is important to me. The only possible Red Flag is that he’s slightly younger than me and I tend to be mature for my age. I am looking for a man who is very emotionally intelligent and is fully established in his life. This isn’t a deal breaker and so far I enjoy his company enough to see how things play out. He also lied on his profile about being a smoker and that has always been a hard “no” for me, although I have dated men who vape and smoke on occasion. It’s not something I will be able to tolerate long term as it makes me sick to be around. When I asked him why he lied he said because A) He is trying to quit and wants to be around good influences who don’t smoke and B) Most women won’t even give him the time of day if he admits this. I do understand addiction is hard and to be fair, I didn’t disclose the fact that I have children. Not to “hide” that part of myself but I also don’t know that I want to attract other parents with young children. I am not closed off to the idea and I actually adore children… It’s more that I have taken care of people my whole life and I am at a point where as my responsibilities with my kids lessen and they get older, I have a strong desire to travel and be free for a little while. I’m not exactly looking to build another family or raise more kids..However I’m not opposed and always saw myself having a girl, even if she wasn’t mine. I feel like this is something to reveal in person with some added context. I also don’t want any man to think I need a father figure as my kids already have a dad. I want my man to be kind to my kids and get to know them while not trying to be their father figure. 

My second date was with a guy who upon meeting clearly lied about his height… and not just a little, a whole 4 inches! We met in a park to play with his dog and he proceeded to tell me all the things wrong with him and said multiple times that he is boring and his life is basically all about his dog. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs but if the only thing you do everyday is walk your dog and then go home to your apartment I can tell you right now that I would suffocate in that dynamic. He also smelled potent like he wasn’t even trying to impress me and had gone on a hike with his dog earlier that day. There was zero attraction or chemistry so I kindly told him I was cold and he walked me to my car. Word to those meeting a date for the first time; maybe try to tell your date the interesting things about yourself first and not bore them(?). Also if there is no time to shower, try deodorant!

The 3rd date was interesting because I found myself thinking about the date I had the night before with the 1st guy and how much fun we’ve had the last 2 dates… I wondered if this 3rd guy would be as much of a bore as the 2nd and was almost dreading the meet up. Upon first sight all I thought (and said) was “Ohh, you’re handsome!”. He was dressed casual with a button up top and jeans but smelled nice and had a warm smile. He hugged me and I could feel he was very strong. He also came to pick me up and got out of the car to come to my door which I liked. He has a nice (and clean) car. He paid for my drinks without even allowing me to try and he was quite the gentleman. For the record chivalry is NOT dead! The conversation started slow at first but as we got more comfortable I realized he is very thoughtful and deep. He asks a lot of great questions and wants to know who I am at my core. We talked about our past relationships, careers, childhoods and more. I felt that he was much more mature than my younger date and has established his life & career to a point that I feel he could add balance & stability to my life. He basically hits everything on my list and the physical connection is equally as strong as the mental one, if not more so. The only possible Red Flag is whether he will understand my artist lifestyle as he is in functional medicine and seems to be very healthy. I like to be 95% on point with my goals, career and healthy lifestyle however every couple weeks or so I like to let loose, stay up late and party! I wonder if he will fit into that dynamic or if he’ll be the partner that stays home while I go out. He seems to be open to new things and asked me a lot about Burning Man along with letting me take him to a local college bar and gay bar just to try something new… So I feel good about it and truthfully have had a smile on my face since our date. At this time I know that I can’t settle too fast and need to continue to meet more people and let things develop naturally. I will say however that he is not shy to tell me how much he likes me and it’s refreshing to meet a man I can connect with on multiple levels, who is not afraid of expressing feelings and who is actually available. I’ve heard there are a few other dating sites worth looking into, which I will. I am in no hurry and nothing good ever came easy 😉 For now I am single and just enjoying my freedom!


DIY Hair with Malia

Almost everywhere I go, someone compliments my hair and asks if I do it myself… The answer is YES! However I wasn’t always this good at it. In fact when I was in 7th grade and we didn’t have YouTube, I decided I wanted to be blonde and used Clorox bleach to pull the color… little did I know that would turn my hair green under the fluorescent lights at school. Needless to say I wasn’t very popular back then and got teased a lot. Over the years I learned more about how to properly color my hair by sticking to the packets they sold in grocery stores and keeping it simple with more natural colors like Dark red/violets and sometimes black. I worked at a bank for 8 years during my 20’s and they told us we could only have “natural” looking hair, so the week that I quit I decided that I was going to try all the colors in the rainbow!! 

One big factor of why I left the financial industry (along with realizing how corrupt the industry was) is that I never felt like I could be myself. Halfway through my career I went to Burning Man and began hosting community events on the weekends. I was always jealous of people with bright colorful locks and fun vibrant clothes but I was stuck feeling like a blue collar banker during the week and had to limit my creative personality. When I left the bank I decided that I would never again work at any place that wouldn’t allow me to have freedom of expression. While I was searching for a new career that would allow me such luxuries, I realized I needed to manifest what I wanted and the best way to manifest anything is to show the Universe that you are serious by taking the steps towards what you want. The Law of Attraction and all that. I moved all of my banker clothes into another closet and only kept my costumes, yoga gear and the clothing in my closet that made me feel like *myself*. I vowed to never submit to the default world setting… When I met my new clients who I have now been with for 8 years, the one thing I expressed in our interview was that they needed to be ok with my (at the time) blue hair. They said yes and since then I have tried many hair colors, styles and cuts over the years. 

I started with Pink because my brother wanted to try pink hair for a festival so we ventured as a team. Pink faded quickly and my dark roots stood out against the light color so I decided next to try red. Red would bleed on all my clothes, sheets, shower and even on my face so I later switched to Blue. I kept blue for a while as it was vibrant and the color held up longer than the others. After a while however it would fade to a greenish color and the roots would turn a brownish/orange which was just wrong. I began doing  two tones and experimenting with Purple roots & blue ends. That was a brilliant combo and I began to call it “Blurple”.

After about a year of experimenting, I decided I wanted to try going silver. It always looked so cool on other people! Unfortunately for me being of Hispanic descent, this required more bleaching than normal to lift all the previous colors and the remaining pigment of my naturally dark hair. After 2 sessions my hair turned into tinsel! It was so thin and crunchy that the color didn’t stay shiny for very long and after one wash it faded to a dull grey. The ends of my hair were fried from all the bleach which left me no choice but to cut off my locks and start over. I started with cutting it shorter.. Then I shaved my neck and started working on designs for the shaved portion. My hair grows rather fast so keeping it looking nice required a lot of maintenance but I got really good at cutting designs into my head like zig zags, waves and lightning bolts… Maybe this was my way of being cool like Vanilla Ice back in the day…

Eventually I kept shaving more and more and ended up with a fauxhawk. I was never brave enough to try the Demi Moore GI Jane cut and go all the way bald but I got pretty close. I tried a vibrant green color for a while but then realized that green made my face look very pale. Back to Blurple it is! It took me 5 years to grow back my hair to a point where I could actually put it in a ponytail. I am sure this process could have gone faster if I was only willing to push through the awkward phase of shaggy ears and neck… But I wanted to grow it back in style so that required me to maintain the undercut while attempting to grow the top layer that could later be long enough to cover up the shag. Then Covid happened and I decided what better time than during quarantine to endure the awkward phase?! All events were cancelled and not very many people had to see me plus everyone who did see me was also wearing pajamas and had crazy hair days so I fit right in! It took one full year with no cuts to get my long Mermaid Hair back! 

Here is a video of my DIY Hair day & previous colors & styles:

I have been doing this for decades so I don’t follow all the guidelines you see in a professional salon. For example they use foil for the roots but I find it much more simple to just do layer after layer. This can burn your skin if you get too close to the scalp and leave the bleach on too long so beware: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I use Ion powder lightener and 40 Developer which is best to lift color as opposed to depositing it. After turning my hair into tinsel from over bleaching, I only bleach my roots once every couple months and DO NOT bleach the ends. This way my hair stays soft and doesn’t break due to over exposure of chemicals. After one session my roots are strawberry blonde but a deep purple will usually cover this up pretty well. Sometimes I run out of one color and will have to improvise with another tone but typically I stick with purple variations so the tones match well. This time I used Neon Purple for the top & roots and Purple for the under layers. My favorite hair color is Argan Oil from a local Sally’s Beauty Shop because it doesn’t require more chemicals to be added to the base and it leaves my hair super shiny! It is also a thinner formula so it’s easy to spread throughout my thick hair. In the past I have used Ion Semi permanent hair color but the formula is very thick and requires more packets as my hair gets longer. Some of their formulas also require a developer additive which is a chemical base so I try to avoid that.

I always leave the color in for a full hour so the color sticks. Then I wash it out and avoid washing a second time for a few days. One trick I’ve learned over the years is not using shampoo because it washes out the color too fast. I live in Colorado where the air is dry so I’ve noticed soap filled shampoo also dries out my scalp and causes flaking so there is another reason to avoid it. My favorite conditioner is Herbal Essences with Rose Hips. I started using that when I was a teenager because I loved the smell and it leaves my hair silky smooth. Over the years I tried several other products but have never found anything quite as good with a smell that I like. I have been loyal to this product now for over 20 years. 

I do not color hair for other people but I’ve tried and learned that it’s one thing to be good at doing your own hair but entirely different how other peoples hair types will react to what I know.  After all, I am no professional! The best I have gotten for nailing someone else’s hair was my son Josh who has similar thickness to my hair and who allows me to experiment on him.

Please leave me comments on what your favorite “flavor” is and if you found this blog helpful! Also like & subscribe to my page for future DIY days and other fun adventures!


How Audiobooks changed my Life

Podcast Episode 4:

I fell into a slump this year. Before Covid I worked very hard to structure my life in a way that I enjoyed every part of my day. I spent years building routines that made me love my life… but the lockdowns took that all away. Or at least that is the excuse I used. A couple weeks ago I woke up and said this is shit. What the hell am I doing with my life and why am I letting this get the best of me? I realized I needed to get back to the drawing board and recreate new routines. After all “People don’t rise to the occasion, they sink to the level of their training” – Archilochus

I wasn’t much of a reader growing up. I found it boring and considered myself to have a reading “disorder” of sorts. If I tried to sit down and read, I would fall asleep within 20 minutes. Or it would be hard to stay engaged and I’d end up re-reading the same paragraph over and over because I couldn’t focus long enough to retain the information. However I work with my hands all day and happen to have a lot of listening time. What I have noticed about myself is that I need to be both mentally and physically stimulated or I get bored and antsy. When I was learning to DJ I would spend my days scouting music by listening to Spotify or other artist mixes on Soundcloud and then I would Shazam a track when I liked it. Later I would re-listen and if I found it worthy of playing, I would buy the track and make my own mixes. Being able to record and re-listen during the day helped me develop my taste and skills. However when I discovered audiobooks, I became equally as obsessed. 

It actually happened slowly at first. I was dating a man who was emotionally challenging. He drained me of my energy and I didn’t have much headspace to entertain new information. I was overwhelmed. But this man did introduce me to audio format and for that I am grateful. The first audiobook I downloaded was called the 30 Day Sobriety Solution. You see this man had his traumas and when we drank together it would cause massive fights between us. I loved him and wanted to do whatever I could to fix our problems but I knew one of his biggest triggers was alcohol. Things got really bad and I told him I needed him to get sober and that I would do the same. We committed to the 30 Days of Sobriety and to listen to the book together. Sadly, I learned the hard way that he didn’t take things as seriously as I did and after 28 days we broke up. It was messy and painful and not something I will get into at this time but I suffice to say that was my rock bottom. My life was a mess and I was lost. I was depressed and had gained more weight than I like to admit. I moved out of his house and into my own space to get away from him but needed a minute to breath. So I let myself fall apart for a moment. I let myself drink for 2 weeks as I tried to collect my thoughts and figure out how to proceed. After 2 weeks of being a total mess something snapped and I decided that I was NOT going to let this man destroy me. I decided that I was going to take this experience and use it as fuel to better myself. 

I started seeking answers.. I wanted to understand what happened to me. I started with books on psychology and “self help”. I wanted to understand why I attracted someone like him and how I let things get so bad. I knew there were other people out there who have gone through the same thing and I was desperate to get out of it. I took all the time I spent on music and transferred it into education. After healing my heart I realized that there was so much more I wanted to learn and there are so many people who have written books about the things I want to learn. I wanted to learn how to eat better, I wanted to learn how to build my business & how to structure my days for success. I wanted to learn about my psychology and human psychology in general. I wanted to be inspired and learn how other people have become successful so I listened to biographies of successful people and how they did it. I digested a month’s worth of listening time in under 2 years and it transformed every aspect of my life.

I spent the last 8 months making excuses for myself and blaming Covid, my Governor, the system and blah blah blah… It finally occurred to me that I was the one standing in my own way and that in order to be the person I want to be, I need to take responsibility.  I decided to re-listen to the books that had an impact on my life to refresh my memory. Since my kiddos aren’t in school right now I have been letting myself sleep in and that is the first thing I decided to change. I am re-listening to a book called The Miracle Morning for Entrepreneurs’. This book helped me become a morning person in the past and I wanted to do that again. I am so much happier and productive when I have a morning routine. There are other Miracle Mornings for various lifestyles but they all have the same basic principals. Whether you’re a parent, a business owner or a couple there are things you can do to set yourself up for a good day. Being only halfway through this book I am rediscovering what I love about mornings. Having time to be silent before the craziness of the world and taking time to meditate makes a huge difference. Basic hygiene and taking my supplements and making my tea preps me for the energy I need throughout the day to be at optimal performance. Getting a short jog in before work and having time with my kiddos before I leave jump starts my day! Implementing a morning ritual or routine makes a world of difference throughout the entire day. 

Here are a handful of other books I have listened to and how they made an impact on me: 

The 4 Hour Workweek’ by Tim Ferris is one of the main books I can attribute for helping me be more efficient. Learning tricks like how to “batch” my work so I spend less time on emails, paying bills and running errands. Learning how tweak little parts of my day here and there and add more time by cutting out the bulls**. Tim has a way of putting things into perspective and it has a lasting effect. He also taught me how important it is to track your progress. Take notes on what is working and why. Ask yourself thought provoking questions. Write down your daily plans, diet, exercises and journal the ideas you have. Being able to critically asses your thoughts can build habits that stick.

Tim Ferris

‘Own the Day Own your Life” by Aubrey Marcus is another book that helped me structure my day. The idea is once you get a routine in place that sets you up for success, then you don’t have to focus on how to reach your goals, you just need to focus on one day at a time. If you can win the day, you have won your life. Things become habitual after a while and you no longer have to think about it. 

‘A Man’s Search for Meaning’ was one of the most inspiring reads that I think about often. It was written by a psychologist & neurologist named Viktor Frankle chronicling his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II, and describing his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose in life to feel positive about, and then immersively imagining that outcome. 

‘The Third Door’ was also an inspirational read and quite the adventure! Written by an 18 year old college Student named Alex Banayan who was supposed to study for a test but instead decided to go on the “Price is Right” gameshow in hopes that he could win enough money to support his desire to write a book (this book). Not knowing anything about the game show, he figured out a way to break through the barrier and actually ended up winning a sailboat! He then sold the boat and used the money to find a way to meet with successful people starting small but ending up interviewing people like Lady Gaga, Maya Angelou, Steve Wozniak, Jane Goodall, Larry King, Jessica Alba, Pitbull, Tim Ferriss, Quincy Jones, and many more. Along his adventures and interviewing these very successful people he realized; “Life, business & success… it’s just like a nightclub. There are always three ways in. There’s the First Door: the main entrance, where ninety-nine percent of people wait in line, hoping to get in. The Second Door: the VIP entrance, where the billionaires and celebrities slip through. But what no one tells you is that there is always, always… the Third Door. It’s the entrance where you have to jump out of line, run down the alley, bang on the door a hundred times, climb over the dumpster, crack open the window, sneak through the kitchen—there’s always a way in.” – Alex Banayan

I had always wanted to try Ayahuasca based on the profound things I heard from those who have tried it but was nervous based on the stories I had heard of bad experiences and purging so I downloaded a couple books that prepared me for my journey with plant medicine.  ‘The Tibetan Book of the Dead’ (Also known as the Bardo Thodol). This Tibetan text describes, and is intended to guide one through, the experiences that the consciousness has after death, in the bardo, the interval between death and the next rebirth. The text also includes chapters on the signs of death and rituals to undertake when death is closing in or has taken place. ‘DMT the Spirit Molecule’ includes a book by Rick Strassman and a documentary for your watching pleasure. Human consciousness is one of the grand mysteries of our time. How do you know that you are “you”? DMT: The Conscious Molecule goes a step further and asks, ‘is the universe conscious?’.  Finally, ‘The Psychedelic Experience’ is a book about using psychedelic drugs that was coauthored by Timothy Leary, Ralph Metzner and Richard Alpert. The original text started as early as 1962. All three authors had taken part in research investigating the therapeutic potential of psychedelic drugs such as LSD, psilocybin and mescaline in addition to the ability of these substances to sometimes induce religious and mystical states of consciousness. I highly recommend these 3 reads for anyone interested in taking a psychedelic journey. I truly believe that plant medicine can change this world however not everyone is mentally or physically prepared for the toll it takes on your body and your psyche. I personally had the most amazing, profound experience because I took the time to learn what to expect and I respected the medicine by following my deita.

A couple years ago I took my car into the shop because it was stalling. The mechanic told me my engine was bad and that I needed to replace it. He quoted me $6000 and told me I had no other choice. I agreed to the work and halfway thought he called me to inform me that my turbo was also bad and that I needed to get that fixed for another $3000. After all the work was complete and I paid the bill I was shocked to have my car stall on me the next day. I took it to a different mechanic who discovered the issue was a fuse (a mere $400 fix) and that I never needed to replace my engine or turbo. So I downloaded a book called Getting to “Yes” and I crammed it over the weekend. On Monday I reached out to the mechanic who misdiagnosed my car and by applying what I learned in the book I was able to get him to reimburse me the labor costs in full! Knowing what I know now has made me much better at negotiating and getting what I want. I have applied this to asking for a raise and asking for what I want from a friend or partner. If there is anything you want to learn, there is probably a book about it. In the age of information remaining ignorant is a *choice*.


Finally, I want to mention a couple books that I find to be relevant in today’s current climate. ‘The Lucifer Effect’ was written in 2007 including professor Philip Zimbardo’s first detailed, written account of the events surrounding the 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment — a prison simulation study which had to be discontinued after only six days due to several distressing outcomes and mental breaks of the participants. Understanding How Good People Turn Evil is a fundamental part of understanding human nature and what *most* people do when faced with novel power. Most recently I listened to‘1984’ after hearing so many people make references to the book. If you haven’t read this book now is a fitting time due to the level of censorship we are seeing from “big brother”. A dystopian social science fiction novel way ahead of it’s time  – Written in 1949 – I feel that it’s a warning to us all to beware of the “powers that be” and if we do not uphold our basic rights like freedom of speech and freedom of the press we could end up giving all our power away to a controlling and tyrannical system. If you have read it but not in a while I would highly recommend a refresher.


Election Integrity & the State of our Democracy

Youtube Podcast version:

I have been thinking a lot about the democratic process. Contrary to what the mainstream media would like for me to believe, I don’t think Donald Trump is being a dictator. I know there is a lot of bias but please hear me out. He is not refusing to leave the White House forever nor is he required to concede at this point in time. He has not done anything unconstitutional and is well within his legal rights to contest any and all election irregularities. It’s important to get away from the word “fraud” and focus on the information presented regarding improprieties, irregularities, anomalies and the legal process. 

It is a common practice in history that the associated press (aka media) covers election day results based on the input from each state’s election database. The media can *project* their totals and can *project* a winner, however there is a legal process that follows. When the media “calls” an election that is simply a modern day tradition however it doesn’t mean their projections are always accurate. It’s similar to sportsball commentators calling a play, then having the referee make the ultimate decision. Look back at the Bush v Gore election when the media projected Gore winning then later moved it back to Bush. Gore called and conceded based on the media’s projections but then called back after 30 minutes and retracted his concession. It took 36 days of recounts & litigation and 35 days for Gore to officially concede. Ultimately going to the Supreme Court for the final decision. In most cases the margins are clear and the losing opponent will contact the winner to concede. This is a gesture in which case the loser is acknowledging they have been defeated and says they are not going to contest the results. Concession is not a requirement prior to certification.

In the case of the 2020 election, the media called a few states too early giving the illusion that Biden was winning when there was still much to be counted. It’s worth noting that the media has been swaying the public perception all year. Some could argue they have been doing it much, much longer. They have been horribly wrong with inaccurate polling over the last 2 election cycles. In 2016 poll after poll suggested Hillary had a 90% chance of winning. In 2020 they said Biden had the same chance of winning. This is a way of social manipulation and has been understood that uninformed or undecided voters usually lean towards the candidate leading the polls because as human nature and psychology tells us; people don’t like to be wrong. We want to be on the winning team. The legacy media’s narrative has been painting a picture for their audience that is not based in fact but rather based in ideologies or opinions. 

In the case that an election is too close to call with thin margins each candidate has a legal right to follow the democratic process. Each state has their own laws and the federal constitution supersedes the state. Once the states finish their count they must have the results certified by their states election officials. This has not happened yet in any state for a number of reasons: 

For starters, this years’ voting process has been significantly altered in respect to Covid safety measures. Many states implemented mass mail out voting for the first time in history. “Mass mail out” is very different from “absentee” ballots. Mass mail out means that ballots were mailed to anyone who had previously been on the counties voter registration – not verifying whether the person still lived there, was still alive or even wanted the ballot. Absentee has a verification process where you must request the ballot, then they verify your identity and mail it to you and then you mail it back. Additionally some states extended the ballot deadline allowing more time for mail to arrive and be processed. Certain protocols were established to protect the integrity of the count like requiring post marked dates/deadlines on the envelope to be valid, requiring software with 40% signature verification accuracy, requiring witnesses on the returned ballots including addresses and signatures etc etc. 

Despite what the media tells you, there have been many anomalies, irregularities and improprieties in many key states where the margins are too close to determine the winner. Each campaign has the legal right and obligation to their supporters to challenge anything they deem inappropriate. Challenging this doesn’t mean they will win or that it will make a big enough difference in the vote count to swing the election, however it is a matter of public trust and election integrity that must be upheld so if there are any pending litigations they must be taken seriously and investigated. In the case that the projected loser does not concede, such as now, then the projected winner should NOT claim victory. Doing this could put our national security at risk and it undermines the process. Some have argued that Joe Biden meeting with foreign leaders while not having officially won the election may have broken the Logan Act

I have compiled a comprehensive list of existing challenges we are facing as a nation and to the best of my knowledge have left out those which have been dismissed:


  • A margin of <.5%  would mean an automatic recount is triggered. The current margin is .7% not all counting is complete and pending litigations could swing the vote. 
  • A Pending lawsuit against the Secretary of State, Kathy Bookvar, and 7 county boards of election alleging that the Pennsylvania election process violated the constitution by not verifying votes equally and treating Democrats and Republicans differently. The lawsuit claims that there were different standards of verification and transparency between mail in and in person votes and that GOP observers were not allowed to review over 65,000 ballot counts in key counties that they were legally entitled to. The lawsuit also includes a postal worker from Erie County who claimed that he had heard his supervisors talking about illegally backdating ballots that arrived late so that they appeared legitimate. 
  • A Pending case against the Montgomery  County Board of Elections to stop counting mail-in ballots that do not comply with the election requirements. The lawsuit alleges that election officials were counting ballots in which the outer declaration envelope was not completely filled in with voters’ signature, address, and date. The campaign identified 600 ballots, at the time of the filing, that did not meet such requirements. Other allegations are that the Montgomery Board of Elections violated the state’s election code by inspecting ballots early in an attempt to “cure” ballots and contacting some but not all defective ballots. 
  • Trump won a lawsuit against Secretary of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Kathy Boockvar and 67 counties to follow an earlier deadline for voters to provide missing proof of identification if not provided on their initial ballot. Boockvar issued election guidance that extended the Nov. 9 deadline by three days, the lawsuit states. A Pennsylvania judge on Nov. 5 ordered all counties to segregate ballots received between Nov. 10 and Nov. 12 for which missing identification was received from ballots verified on or before Nov. 9.
  • Analysis of the states database shows more than 23,000 absentee ballots have a return date earlier than the date they were sent out. 86,000 absentee ballots were returned the same day they were sent out – a timescale that raises questions over plausibility. Additional Data Analysis is being consolidated in order to complete a more exhaustive Benford’s Law analysis across multiple states.
  • Pending lawsuit in a Federal Court seeking an injunction that blocks the state from certifying the results of the 2020 General Election. 
  • In May, Pennsylvania election officials admitted that duplicate ballots were mailed out to registered voters. Likewise, Judicial Watch sued Pennsylvania for allegedly having 800,000 inactive voters on their state voter rolls. The lawsuit alleges that there are at least 21,000 dead people on Pennsylvania’s voter rolls and that Pennsylvania failed to “reasonably maintain” their voter registration records under federal and state law in time for the 2020 presidential election.


  • A pending Detroit lawsuit filed by Great Lakes Justice Center including 235 pages with 100 sworn witness affidavits alleging election fraud in Wayne county. Allegations include batches of ballots with the same signature, ballots with no voter record, ballots run through the software multiple times, ballot watchers coaching voters to vote, accepting late ballots and discrimination against GOP observers not allowed to review ballots alongside being harassed or pushed out of the way. 
  • A 2nd Pending lawsuit in district court seeks a review of the Dominion voting software that found a glitch causing 6,000 votes to move from Trump to Biden. The software was used in 30 other states and an investigation is requested to insure the glitch didn’t happen in other counties. Notable mention: This software has close financial ties to the Clinton’s and Pelosi.
  • Data Analysis found 9,500 confirmed dead voters and nearly 2,000 more who are 100 years old or more and aren’t listed as known living centenarians.
  • Investigations are underway and these litigations are requesting that Detroit saves all voting data and holds off on the states certification or formally recognizing the states numbers. 
  • Lawsuit filed by voters against Governor Whitmer requesting relief from voters in counties that violated equal protection rights by election officials. 


  • Biden has 49.5 percent of the vote, while Trump has 48.9 percent. A trailing candidate is allowed to seek a recount under state law if the margin of a race is within 1 percentage point. Recount is underway.
  • Wisconsin State Assembly Speaker Robin Vos directed the Assembly Committee on Campaigns and Elections and its chair to “immediately review how the election was administered,” citing concerns of mail-in ballot dumps and voting fraud.


  • This state was irresponsibly called too early by the media and has since been retracted by several press outlets. With Biden leading by 13,000 votes and a remaining 46,000 votes left to count as of November 11th the margin is .39%. If the final margin falls between .10% an automatic recount is triggered. 
  • The Trump campaign and the RNC filed a lawsuit over rejected votes in Maricopa County. The pending lawsuit alleges in-person votes were disregarded as a result of improper guidance provided by poll workers. 


  • The Nevada Republican Party announced that its lawyers have sent Barr a criminal referral alleging at least 3,062 cases of voter fraud in the state. The party alleged that after cross-referencing more than 60 pages of voter records with the National Change of Address database they found at least “3,062 individuals who appear to have improperly cast mail ballots in the election.”


  • The margin between candidates is .3 percent. A candidate can request a recount under Georgia law if the final count is within .5 percent. The recount will now be done by hand. The audit must be completed by the Nov. 20 deadline for certification, though Georgia law allows a superior court judge to move the deadline if needed: 
  • A glitch-prone voting software under investigation called Dominion Voting Systems was used in all 159 Georgia counties.



As we know the law states “innocent until proven guilty” and the burden of proof is on the accuser. Some of these cases may be thrown out but each of them deserves to be taken seriously. I did my best to include links to all the cases and claims and only included active/pending cases as of Nov 13th 2020. The courts will be the ones to review all evidence and determine the outcomes. 

A sworn affidavit is when a person swears under the penalty of perjury that they have witnessed something. The implications of lying under oath could constitute fines and/or prison. Although it’s entirely possible someone would be willing to lie, they are also putting their name and reputation on the line therefore their claim must be taken seriously and investigated. 

Accusations of media censorship are growing. One commentator said the other day that he wouldn’t show the audience what Donald Trump was saying because he was making “false allegations”. However there is no such thing as a “false allegation” as the word allegation means: “An assertion that someone has done something wrong, often without proof.” The role of the media is to show the reasons of both sides and to let the viewers judge and make their own decisions, not to impose or dictate viewpoints to the public. 

In order to win the presidency, a candidate must have 270 electoral college votes. State legislatures ultimately choose the electors through the certification process. Currently no states have been certified. Pending all the legal challenges or recounts that may prevent certification in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, Arizona and Wisconsin the current electoral provisions are Joe Biden 233 vs Trump 232. Each state has until December 8th to complete necessary litigations & disputes in order to certify their state. In the case that certification is unable to meet the deadline causing neither candidate to reach 270 electoral votes, the electoral vote is determined by the house delegation on December 14th in which case Republicans carry a house majority of 26 vs 21 (pending 3 undetermined seats). 

Final thought by the author

Nothing within this article is meant to be taken as official nor is my intention to prove anything. I am not a lawyer nor am I a politician. I am merely a concerned citizen who prefers to do my own investigative journalism rather than be spoon fed by the media. I have personally read every single document and case that I’ve included alongside cross referencing dates and details. I believe that is what a good journalist should do.  My intention for writing this piece was to explain how the process works, where we are in the process and what hurdles we face. The outcome of the 2020 election is still undetermined, however it will certainly change the way we conduct future elections. It is my fundamental belief that the only way to assure society that we have free & fair elections is to investigate all claims. The chain of command was broken when new rules were set in place to accommodate the “new world” safety measures. Now we are left to pick up the pieces and clarify the state laws as guided by the constitution. It is not about which candidate wins this election, it’s about the integrity of this and every future election. I would hope that any freedom loving American who believes in the rule of law would be dedicated to this cause regardless of the outcome. 


Malia Podcast – Episode2 – Division

Please check out my full podcast here

I want to talk about our current climate as a nation… I was never a fan of politics. It always felt fake to me. All those advertisements that talked poorly of the other side. It was never about what your side is doing to build a brighter future. It was always a claim to be the lesser evil. “Vote for me or else”. The powers that be have always used fear mongering to control us. Once they get into office they forget about the people. They are bought out by lobbyists and special interests. They spend money on things that don’t help us. Often times keeping us reliant on them for handouts.

I don’t care who you vote for as long as you don’t turn against your neighbors, your family, your friends. We have to understand that’s what the powers want. Divide and conquer is the oldest trick in the book. I might disagree with your views and I might drive you crazy with mine. But we live in a free nation and we need to keep it that way. 

It’s election year and 2020 has been like a tv drama. I feel like before this year I was asleep, or at least living under a rock trying to live my life, mind my business and focus on my surroundings. Now I feel like someone poured cold water on me and shocked me awake. When I started asking questions on Facebook, I was met with hostility. My initial post was a simple copy/paste of questions that had been on my mind but hadn’t been able to put into words. I had a lot of friends tell me I was bad, wrong, ignorant for asking questions. But that didn’t stop me…. 

My posts got a lot of attention because they were controversial. I didn’t believe the official narrative and wasn’t afraid to call bullshit where I saw it. I didn’t know how to handle this at first. I tried to be diplomatic but sometimes I would be triggered and react unfavorably. I told myself I wouldn’t delete friends just because they disagreed with me. Then one day I casually disagreed on a long time friends post and she snapped at me. She told me I should delete her if I thought that way.. I responded by saying that would make me sad to lose a long term friend over a difference of opinion. Her response was “I have no problem losing people like you from my life”. Then she deleted me. I cried. It hurt my feelings to be tossed aside like that. 

But that’s didn’t stop me either. That only made me want to learn more and try and have more conversations with people. My goal was to never delete anyone and never be cruel or insult others. Unfortunately my opposition had no problem with insults and I found myself being called awful names by people who once were my community, my “tribe”. So I made a new rule: I won’t delete anyone *unless* they attack or belittle me.. I always gave them one warning and tried to monitor my online posts to call out people who resorted to name calling. It happened on both sides. People who agreed with me would defend me by attacking my Opposition.. I didn’t like this and would speak up and say NO – not on my page. This helped to create an open dialogue but still, there were some people who could not stop themselves and unfortunately I had to remove them from the thread. 

It makes me sad to see so many of my community divided. We used to consider ourselves tolerant and open minded, but all that changed this year. Things became so black & white. 
I blame the media for this. They have relentlessly tried to destroy their opposition by any means necessary and we are falling for it. We are falling into tribalism mentality. We are no longer individuals with independent thought. We aren’t willing to hear each other out. We view the “other” is bad. 

I also blame the isolation and separation. It used to be I’d have deep conversations with friends in person and we always found a middle ground. Being able to hear someone’s emotions behind what they are saying and having the time and space to try and find balance have been removed. We’ve been physically pulled a part and now our only form of connection is through devices that are controlled by the elites. You have to question what is being programmed into our brains during this time. Where do you get your information? How much time do you spend online? Are you deleting people who disagree with you, creating a “bubble” effect? Is it possible there is not right or wrong but instead there just “is”. Life is empty & meaningless and we are meaning making machines after all. 

What now? Liberal cities are being boarded up in anticipation for the post election results. Are you going to protest if you don’t get your way? Do you think violence will solve anything? 

I remember how I felt when I watched the George Floyd video. I was shaking.. I had an emotional reaction like any human with a heart would. I even went to the protests on the second day. Then it turned violent. That’s was when I stoped myself to reflect. Is this where we are as a country? Is destruction what we want? Is this helping or hurting us? 

Later I started looking into the underlying politics.. everything has been highly politicized this year and it’s hard to avoid. What I found was that I had been so asleep and unaware of the truth. I Canceled cable about 15 years ago because I didn’t find any value in it so I got my news from social media. Memes or headlines that friends would post. That is what formed my opinion of the world. I voted for Obama his first term and then wrote in Bernie in 2016. I’ve never cared about voting but thought it was my civic duty. So I just did what my fiends wanted me to do. I was a part of the tribe. Now I have realized there is so much more to consider and this pursuit of truth has made me the minority.

I love my country. I am so blessed to live here. I don’t want to see it torn down – however, there does need to be change so I’m both bracing myself and embracing the process. If my candidate doesn’t win, I will wake up tomorrow and live my life, if they do win I will do the same.

The story of Lord Shiva: Shiva literally means “auspiciousness, welfare”. He is the third god of the Hindu Triad and he is the god of destruction. He represents darkness , and it is said to be the “angry god”.

The term destruction as it relates to Shiva’s cosmic duties can be deceiving. Often Lord Shiva destroys negative presences such as evil, ignorance, and death.

Also, it is the destruction created by Lord Shiva that allows for positive recreation. For example, an artisan may melt down (i.e., destroy) old pieces of metal during his process of creating a beautiful piece of art.

It is for this reason that Shiva holds a complementary role to Brahma, the god of creation. Shiva protects souls until they are ready for recreation at the hands of Brahma. Because of his connections with destruction, Lord Shiva is one of the most feared and heavily worshipped deities in Hinduism.

However, according to Hinduism, creation follows destruction. Therefore Shiva is also regarded as a reproductive power, which restores what has been dissolved. As one who restores, he is represented as the linga or phallus, a symbol of regeneration.